Balaam and Balak

So in my devotional this morning, I was reading in Numbers chapters 22-24 about Balak, the king of Moab, and his deal with Balaam, the famous diviner in the land. If you haven't read this story yet, you should, because it's awesome. Anyways, Balak feels very threatened by the Israelites because of their vast numbers and the fact that God used them to conquer large cities, so he goes to Balaam and says, "Therefore please come at once, curse this people for me, for they are too mighty for me. Perhaps I shall be able to defeat them and drive them out of the land, for I know that he whom you bless is blessed and he whom you curse is cursed." (Numbers 22:6) So Balaam goes and speaks to God (which I found interesting, because he was this pagan sorcerer who apparently had enough success with "the gods" to be famous). God tells him not to curse Israel because they're actually blessed (obviously, from the way they're mowing down cities). So Balaam tells Balak that no, he can't curse Israel because God had blessed them. Balak whines about it, offers Balaam more money, and Balaam asks God again if he can curse Israel. Surprisingly enough, God tells him that he can go with Balak, on the condition that he can only say what God wants him to say. So Balaam goes, after being talked at by his donkey, and ends up actually blessing the socks off of Israel four different times.

This huge long intro is basically here to set up the verses that shocked me: "Behold, I have received a command to bless; He has blessed, and I cannot reverse it. He has not observed iniquity in Jacob, nor has He seen wickedness in Israel. the Lord His God is with him, and the shout of a King is among them." (Numbers 23:20-21). This probably doesn't seem like such a huge deal, because Israel was God's special nation, and He promised them this amazing land, flowing with milk and honey. But I've been reading chapter after chapter where the people complain to Moses about God, always mentioning how great Egypt was and how they were hungry and were sick of the manna, and on and on and on. There had to have been at least three different times where God was just about to wipe out the entire nation because of their iniquity and rebellion, only refraining when Moses stepped in and interceded for the people. I have been wading through the moanings and sins of the Israelites for days, and then I come across this amazing jewel of a section - God saw no iniquity in them! I was pretty surprised to see those verses, because there clearly was sin happening in the people, and clearly God was dealing with it in harsh ways (sending sickness after sickness and enemies into the camp to kill the rebellious people), but after all of that - in spite of all of that - He declares them blameless in His eyes, perfect in His sight, fit to be blessed no less than four times by Balaam.

I have always thought that there was a huge difference between the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament, but here the two are one. Now, I know rationally that God hasn't changed (He is the same today, yesterday, and forever), but as I've gone through His word and seen the difference (sacrifices were needed, He seemed a lot more irritable with mistakes, and He went on killing sprees in the OT, whereas in the NT He accepted His Son's death, grace is valued above the law, and He showed much more restraint with His undoubtedly just judgement), it's been easy to separate the two versions of God. Jesus changed everything absolutely and for good, which is awesome. However, through these apparent differences in the personality of God, this section depicts Him showing the exact grace that He shows us in the NT, once Jesus died for every sin in the world. He accepts their sacrifices as readily as He accepts Jesus' blood and forgets entirely that Israel is a very fickle nation, just as He does with us! How awesome is that? It doesn't really affect us today, but it really excites me to see the proof that God is constant throughout history, full of grace and mercy as well as judgement and righteousness.

I hope this all made sense, even if it was all over the place. God bless!

Thank you for...

Today is Thanksgiving. So, I just wanted to write God a thank you note. Here it is!

Thank you for:
Amazing family and friends
Breathtaking weather and beautiful days over the past month (rain included)
Christmas expectations!!!
Days off from school and work to enjoy
Excellent times in Your word, both in church and out
Fantastic moving experiences
Grace and peace and mercy for all of the stuff I do wrong
Hilarious conversations
Insomnia
Jesus!!
Knowledge of Your word in confusing days
Laughter (lots of it)
Massive amounts of coffee
Never feeling alone even when no one's around (also ninjas)
Obvious statements
Pleasant morning sunrises
Quests to find chocolate late at night
Radically changed attitude towards Cuesta
Samples at Trader Joe's and Costco
Typical Sundays
Unfailing love on Your part
Vacations
Wacky inside jokes that make no sense to anyone but you and the other person and last way too long for       their own good
X... I don't know how to play the xylophone... but apparently they're cool?
Your character
Z... You know what, I really like zebras. I saw one tackle a cheetah or some big cat on the Discovery channel and it was really awesome.

So clearly there are sooooo many other things to thank God for on a daily basis, and the book of Psalms is chock full of amazing examples, but for now I'm going to sleep. God bless all of those people who had to work tonight, I hope it went quickly and painlessly!

Challenge!

So I've been memorizing a verse every day for a few days, and it's a lot easier than it was when I was in Awanas (I was a Sparky then!). It's only been a couple days, but so far I've got James 1:19-20 ("So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God"), John 14:27 ("Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give. Let not your heart be troubled; neither let it be afraid."), of course I have Psalm 37:3-4 from a while ago ("Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the Lord and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in His way and He will give you the desires of your heart."), and Philippians 4:8 ("Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things"). I'm working on getting a whole chunk in, and I'm thinking about Matthew 6:25-34 (the section about not worrying and just trusting God). You would be surprised at how much it affects your day. Every time I feel myself getting frustrated, I can reference James, and if I start stressing about troubles in the future, out comes John and the Psalm. It's a great way to start off the day too, because instead of just skimming a few chapters, I can concentrate on what God is saying and actually get some meat.

So for all of my readers (all... like I have a hundred or something :p) I want you to try to memorize some verses over the next week. They don't have to be long, but I would go for memorizing verses that have impacted you - it makes it so much easier when it has a personal connection. Philippians 4:8 is one that impacted my life in a huge way because it was that verse that really made me establish my relationship with God. And you should tell me which ones you've memorized! I want to see how God's word is affecting you, it's so amazing to hear how God is working in personal ways.

God bless!

Fear of God

Yesterday I came across Psalm 76, which is one of my new favorites:


(The Majesty of God in Judgement) In Judah God is known; His name is great in Israel. In Salem also is His tabernacle, and His dwelling place in Zion. There He broke the arrows of the bow, the shield and sword of battle. You are more glorious and excellent than the mountains of prey. The stouthearted were plundered; they have sunk into their sleep; and none of the mighty men have found the use of their hands. At Your rebuke, O God of Jacob, both the chariot and horse were cast into a dead sleep. You, Yourself, are to be feared; and who may stand in Your presence when once You are angry? You caused judgement to be heard from heaven; the earth feared and was still, when God arose to judgement, to deliver all the oppressed of the earth. Surely the wrath of man shall praise You; with the remainder of wrath You shall gird Yourself. Make vows to the Lord your God, and pay them; let all who are around Him bring presents to Him who ought to be feared. He shall cut off the spirit of princes; He is awesome to the kings of the earth.


I was reading through it and was struck by how revered God is in the author's eyes. I've been noticing in the past year or two that as a society we have ultimately committed the "unpardonable sin" ("Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man , it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come." - Matthew 12:32). Instead of giving God the respect that is due to Him, I see a trend of belittling Him, putting Him in the realm of humanity and dragging His name through the mud. There is a severe lack of reverence and ultimately fear of our Creator in the world today, and it's especially prevalent in the American culture.

Where has the fear of the Lord gone? How do we get it back? What is the fear of the Lord? I'm still trying to figure out the last two, because I've noticed that I'm one of those people who looks at God as my benefactor, best friend, and doting Father, but who's left out the part where Mt Sinai was moved by His very presence (Ps 68), or when God broke the Leviathon's heads and fed them to His people (Ps 74), or when He parted an entire body of water for the Israelites, or when He would strike even His high priest dead if the man had sin in His heart. The God who did all of that (and sooooo much more) deserves more than our fleeting love and temporary devotion. The God who delivered His chosen people from the Egyptians, who appeared to Moses and wrestled with Jacob, who flooded the earth and who rained fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorra should be feared. This fear isn't the kind where we start screaming in terror; this fear that we should feel for God is more of a deep, deep reverence mixed with the understanding that God is supreme, absolutely holy, and has the ability to wipe us off the face of the earth for our sins. 

I get that things have changed, since we are able to rely on the gift of salvation offered when Jesus died for us, but the unfortunate side effect since then is that we become complacent in the fact that our sins are forgiven. We can basically make little booboos and nothing will happen, unless we continue in the sin and it grows big enough to separate us from God. There will always be consequences and God has made that abundantly clear in my life at least, but after the consequence, we're back under the "Jesus umbrella" and we feel untouchable. We have lost the reverence and fear and respect for our Lord in today's society, and it breaks my heart that out of the whole world, it seems that Christians are the ones who spread the loss of respect. I am absolutely guilty of this. I have no idea how to put the genuine fear of God into my heart because I've spent so much time  using humor and the band-aid of God's grace to define my relationship with Him. There are definitely times where I've felt that fear and respect, but it isn't there all the time.

I'm going through the Old Testament right now and one thing I've noticed is that the Israelites experienced the best place in their lives when they respected and feared God, but once they lost that element of respect, their focus turned to themselves and things went downhill. I can't help but feel that the world is on this downhill spiral, where we all think that God is our best buddy who wants us to have whatever feels good and who accepts our sins in the name of love. We don't even know that we're missing out on the different facets of God's character because we're so busy promoting God's "love" to people who are trapped in sin instead of actually loving them enough to give them the lifeline they need. We don't have the proper fear of God in our lives. I rarely refer to Him as my Mighty King, or the God of Jacob, and I rarely remember just how awesome His power is and just how mighty He is. My prayer is that He'll give me reason to remember and experience how powerful He is, and that He'll give me the ability to fear and respect Him more than I do now.

God bless.

Worldly love vs Godly love

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy;love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 

1 John 3:1a - "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God!.."

Colossians 3:14 - "But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection."

There are so many verses that focus on the way that God loves, and the way that we in turn are expected to love  Him and others. Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-48, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain  on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." Jesus explains the difference between how God loves and how the world loves. The world loves when it is easy, convenient, and useful. The world offers false love, as demonstrated in 2 Samuel 15, where David's son Absalom "stole the hearts of the men of Israel" (vs 6) with his wit and charm and smooth words. He stole the affection of the people away from his father and ultimately away from God. Absalom later led a rebellion against David and ended up dying by a soldier's hand because he got caught in a tree during a battle... weird story, you guys should definitely get in on that. 

Worldly love is summed up in 1 John 2:15-17 - "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." (emphasis added).  Those verses are a perfect example of what the outcome of each type of love is. With God's love, we get to abide forever with our Creator. And we know from John 14:15 that "If you love Me (Jesus), keep my commandments.", and that the greatest commandment in the law is "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:37); so it goes to show that following God's will is how we show our love for Him. 

However, with the world's love, the Father is not in us, and we are not of the Father but of the world, which is passing away - meaning that instead of abiding forever with the Lover of our Souls, we would also pass away and out of His presence. That seems pretty harsh, but God and the world (more specifically, sin) are polar opposites. If you love the world (which means the sin in it) then you cannot love God. If you love God, then you cannot love sin. And you can't ride the fence because Satan owns the fence. It's not possible to serve God and sin (I can't find where that reference is...). Also, if you're lukewarm, God wants to projectile vomit you out of His mouth (Revelation 3:16), which in my mind doesn't allow for dwelling forever with God - that lines up more with passing away with the world.

And with all of that, I've realized that I often revert to the world's way of loving. I'll love my friends and I'll love my family and I'll love when it's convenient - just as anyone in the world would do. That doesn't distinguish me from any nonChristian. That prevents me from sharing God's love with those people that I can't find it in me to love with God's love. Serving is a form of love, and I'll gladly serve some people over others - if someone I like asks me to do something that's time and money consuming, I'll do it gladly and without complaining. But the minute someone who I don't particularly like asks the same thing, I shut down and if I end up doing it, it's not done in a  joyful way and it's definitely full of whining. I've been convicted by the love described in 1 Corinthians lately. I'm just glad that God is patient with me and that He's brought it to my attention. Loving is hard - but it's what God wants. Loving others is loving God. I'm thankful that God gives us His love when we have none of our own to give, essentially becoming our strength in times of weakness. My prayer is that He'll fill me with His love so that I can use that overflow and depend on Him to love those whom I wouldn't love on my own. 

God bless :)

Pride comes before the Fall

And it's true. Lucifer, that proud, beautiful being who lived under God, certainly fell. He fell a long, long way. Somehow he ended up talking his way into Eve's head in that Garden one day, and weaving his little tale about being above God, knowing what God knows, and being as powerful as God. It's ironic, actually, that Eve fell victim to the same tendency to pride that Lucifer has. And all throughout human history, pride is a recurring issue. Pride is probably one of the most self-destructive emotions we can feel. Pride goes against God's divine purpose because as we become proud, we lose sight of what God really is in relation to us, or, more importantly, we lose sight of just who we are in relation to God and consequently we lose our close relationship with Him. We inflate ourselves because of our bodies, because of our minds, because of how witty we are or how important we are in our community and circle of friends. As we start to build ourselves up, we lose sight of God. We become so obsessed with being attractive, smart, funny, important, and popular that we forget that without God we are nothing. 

In the emergency of discovering a pimple right in the center of our noses that throws off our beauty, we forget that God created the heavens and the earth in a single breath. In the panic of noticing the extra pound or two that will impact the fit of our clothes, we forget that the stars were almost an afterthought for God ("and the stars also"). In the excitement of getting that one special guy or girl to notice us, we forget that God pulled a rib from the man he created and from it made a woman. In the moment of scorn that we feel when the person next to us messes up, we forget that Jesus died a horrific death for that person. 

not only did he die a horrific death for that person, but for every murderer and child rapist in the world. And for us. Jesus died a horrific death for those of us who see ourselves as near perfect, who have never committed the "big" sins, who never ran away from home, who achieved good grades, who never stayed out past curfew and always said please and thank you. Of course, in that moment of scorn we feel that of course He died for me, I'm the good one. I'm the one who should be died for. I'm the one who can control myself where clearly this person can't.

The Bible warns us to take care of the log in our own eye before we can consider the splinter in someone else's. It always confused me that the Bible would assume that my problem was bigger than anyone else's. Why did mine have to be the log? Why couldn't mine be the splinter? And honestly, how does a log get into someone's eye in the first place? I think the point here is that no matter how perfectly you think you're living your life, God's version of perfect will always be out of reach for us. We can always help each other and build each other up by using Godly criticism, but the second we set ourselves above anyone else by assuming that their sin is worse than ours, God is thrown out of the window and perfection becomes skewed. 

The sad thing is that I never really thought about pride being an issue for me. It hit me really hard when I realized that I had a proud heart. And that's ironic because in assuming that I wasn't proud, I became proud of my humility. In my mind I had risen above all the poor shmucks who struggled with it. I have always been the goody two shoes. I have always brought home good grades, come home before curfew, and had all of the answers in school. I have never yelled at my parents or run away from home, and the single most rebellious thing that I've done was wear mismatched clothes. Yeah. Ask my mom about it, that was my rebellious phase. So my whole life I've been the good kid, and as such, I've developed a habit of seeing those around me in the light of my upbringing. As my classmates and friends argued with their parents, I judged. As they flunked a test that I aced, I judged. As I heard stories of parties and drinking and drugs, my eyebrows were raised in Christian disbelief, and I judged. My type of pride is more insidious than the type that comes from having a pretty face or a nice body. My pride is sneakier than that. My pride is buried under Christianese words and values, and dressed up in the frills of the knowledge that I'm walking on the straight and narrow path (the "holier-than-thou" mentality). It's exactly how Satan works because it's in the middle of truth. Yes, I'm saved from an eternity of hell. Yes, I get to see my Savior when I die. Yes, I'm covered by Jesus' innocent and perfect blood. However, I had nothing to do with that. I am as much of a sinner as everyone else. I have as much dirt on me as the next person, if not more. I was just blessed enough to accept the free gift that God offers His beloved creation. How can I look with scorn at my neighbor when I was dead in sin once too? The feeling in my heart shouldn't be scorn or pride, but love. "But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection." (Colossians 3:14).

Good thing God offers mercy and forgiveness to those who sin, because I have sinned. I can't get through a day without sinning. The consolation I have is more than I deserve: "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! (1 John 3:1a) I, and all of those who have taken Jesus as their Savior and God as their Father, get to rest in the knowledge that we are made perfect through God's love and Jesus' sacrifice. Every day is new. Pride dies here.

God bless :)

Trust in a Time of Need

I'm not a patient person by nature. I don't think that many people are anyways, but only by the grace of God can I hope to be patient. I know that I will never be a teacher, because once I understand something, it's hard for me to find the patience to teach it to someone who doesn't get it as fast as I did, if they get it at all. So you can imagine how hard it is for me to be patient when, after getting this amazing revelation about trusting my life to God, I see someone not understanding the same thing. I know that God has everything under control, and that when I give Him my life and my focus (delighting myself in His ways) He'll take my life and He'll use it and bless it (giving me the desires of my heart). But does she?

By the way, you know who you are. If you read this, anyways.

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" - Philippians 4:19

(Get ready, this is a big one) "Therefor I say to you, do not worry about your  life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things." - Matthew 6:25-32

In Oregon I had to learn that God was and is and always will be sufficient for me. He is gracious enough to give me amazing and supporting friends and family, but He is the only thing that I need. He is my life and my focus and I can't let anything tear me away from Him. I gave Him my heart, mind, soul, body, thoughts, desires, questions, everything I have, and because of that I know that my life will be blessed and I don't have to worry about where I'm going to live, what job I'm going to have, who I'm going to marry or anything else. It really hurts me to see those closest to me desperately clutch at their lives and as a result constantly stress out about the future. If it's given to God, there's no hassle. If it's given to God, He'll take it and bless it. He'll give you more things than you expect, definitely more than you deserve, and He'll do it because He loves you.  Trust me, I've been there. It's an amazing place to be in, trusting that God holds your life in His hands. And His are extremely capable hands. He loves you unconditionally. No good thing is withheld from His children. And if it's bad - if it takes precedence over Him - He loves you enough to take it away.
I've seen people who have experienced this. I've heard their testimony. You don't have to experience it to understand it, you just have to see it happen. God used the punishment He served to the Israelites (in Ezekiel and other places) to strike fear into the hearts of the Gentiles so that they would see the consequences of disobeying God. Why be the Israelites if you can be the Gentiles? Why bear the punishment if you don't have to? Give it fully to God now and be spared the angst and the trial.

I feel like that was really doomsday-ish. I hope it registers, though.

God bless.