I had to be a part of the blogger's cliche and write a blog in a coffee shop. I figured that this would officially make me into a real blogger.
You know, I haven't been in a bad mood in a while, but I'm on a two-day streak right now. It's a bummer, mostly because there's not a legitimate reason for me to be moody. I just am. It's just one of the many things we girls get to experience until well past menopause (and I'm sorry to all of the guys out there who I'm sure are dealing with or have dealt with a moody woman - take it from me, it's almost definitely not your fault, we just like finding things to be mad about sometimes). Unfortunately I'm about 40 years away from menopause. Guess I'm going to have to find a more constructive way to take my mind off of things. Blogging isn't too constructive, because I stew over my bad mood... but I'll make this one good.
Actually, the cool thing about knowing that there's nothing to be mad about means that I can control my mood because it's all in my head anyway. God tells us to rejoice in the day that He has made, and obviously He's made this one and yesterday. He's pretty hands-on - He doesn't let just anybody make days. Which is super encouraging, because that means He knows I'm in a bad mood and He'll step in and help me once I actually stop thinking about how annoyed I am and talk to Him. It's so weird when you're in a bad mood, because every little thing grinds on your nerves and you don't really get around to looking at the big picture (i.e., the fact that there are people dying for Christ in China and things like that).
And I'm ashamed to admit that even through everything God has done for me over the past few weeks, I have the typical human attention span. And obviously I'm human, I'm not denying that; I'm disappointed in the fact that it only took two days of PMSing to take my mind off of God's wonders. I had the thought last night that if I can't be joyful through a bad day, of what use am I to God? Anyone can be joyful when there are things in their lives to be joyful about, but faith shines through on the days where everything is going badly. And it shines through on the mediocre days also. I think that's actually where it gets tough, too, because that's where complacency sets in and you have bad days for no reason. That's where I am right now.
I also know, though, that beating myself up about having a short temper is just as destructive as the short temper itself; it's good to realize what you're doing and repent of it, but dwelling on it turns to self-disgust and self-pity, neither of which are useful mindsets for God, because we're so focused on ourselves. So. Let's talk about the Bible. I found a few great verses about anger: Ephesians 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." That one is great, because I realized that when I'm in a bad mood I tend to lash out at those around me with bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking - tenderheartedness is never at the front of my mind on an annoyed day. Also James 1:19-20: "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." God is so good. He wrote these verses for us because human temperament leans naturally towards anger and selfishness. I'm starting to pray daily that God will work on my patience and my heart so that I can respond to all situations with grace and joy. (By the way, I find the verses that I quote in my blog in this awesome little book called "God's Promises for Your Life" - it has sections for anger, loneliness, confusion, things like that. It makes it easy for topical discussions!)
And He's also good, because I'm in a better mood now :)
God bless!
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