Fork in the road

I don't do well with choices. You could say I'm wishy-washy; I'll talk to one person with one opinion and completely get what they're saying, completely agree with them, and see all of their points, and then I'll talk to another person with a different opinion and I'll do the same thing. I don't know why I can't make a decision and stick to it, and I don't know why I always need someone to advise me. It's just who I am. And it's not like I have no opinions, it's more like... there are certain things that I feel strongly about, and then there's everything else. I'm swayed by the last person I talk to. That's why I try to surround myself with people whose opinions come from Godly wisdom, because in the past, my wishy-washiness has given way to standing on shaky moral ground. But thank goodness I have God to whisper in my ear when I'm facing a dilemma where both sides have it right, and both sides are good. God knows what's best for me and He opens and shuts doors accordingly. The only problem here is that there are two doors open, and both lead to great places. But I really do feel God nudging me toward one door over the other (and again, I can't tell you how I feel that, but I do) and I am so grateful that He answered my prayer in that regard. It gives me a rest from stressing out about the future and it gives me something to look forward to. It also makes me really excited that I'm hearing God loud and clear, and I have never felt closer to Him.

We go through different "seasons" in our lives, and while I know that this great season of growth and that feeling of the mountaintop high will pass, I am hoping that instead of following previously set patterns, I'll plateau and stay closer to my Savior instead of peaking and then plummeting. Usually the plummet lands me in a dry and lonely place. But God is always there, I've learned that it's my choice to be with Him or to walk away. And I'm sorry if all of this seems elementary and basic, but all of these things that my head has known for years are being realized by my heart, and it's really exciting to me. Just as God gave understanding of His word to those in Nehemiah, He is giving me that understanding every time I read it.

This time, God has given me the confidence to know that I am picking the right door, and the transformation from a girl who can never decide without a second opinion (unless the choice involves chocolate, in which case it's always going to be the chocolate no matter what anyone else says) to a girl who can hear that still, small voice is underway. I'm so excited for what God has in store for me!

God bless