And it's fun. I was really surprised to find that I found an open network, so I'm able to connect to the internet for a little while. I was really excited to be able to do that, not gonna lie... and I'm a little ashamed that I depend so much on the internet. Such is the life of today's average teenager, and while I'm technically an adult, I tend to fall back on things that seem trivial and largely unimportant (like NEEDING to see if someone's commented on something witty you said 20 minutes ago on Facebook - guilty).
It turns out that God rewards the patient. And it's interesting - I had just made the decision to fix something that I thought I had done backwards, after waiting all this time (I know this is vague, and that I've been pretty vague over the past few posts, but bear with me for a little bit - I'm figuring this out about as fast as you are), and when I went to do something about it, God gave me the assurance that it was all okay. The minute (literally, I decided to do it and then acted on the decision in about 60 seconds) I gave up what I was hoping for, God gave it to me. It could be annoying, if it weren't so perfect. Like... if we were all in grade school and God was that little-miss/mister-perfect who always had the right answer and would wait for you to acknowledge that they knew it all along, then I would be really annoyed. But thankfully, God doesn't come off as smug and He certainly doesn't rub it in our faces that He literally is the know-it-all. Thank goodness. Or thank God, that's probably more appropriate. Does anyone else feel weird when they say thank God for something that describes God? "Thank God that God gave me blah blah blah....". I mean, obviously we're thanking God and giving tribute to His essential awesomeness... but it seems to me like it's blasphemous to say "thank goodness" when you're talking about God, doesn't it?
Sorry, that was a weird spinoff. But uh... thank God that God doesn't smugly say "I told you so" when we figure something out that He's been patiently pointing to the whole time. Because (and getting back the point) He's told us to surrender, to take up our cross, to follow Him, to be willing to sacrifice things that are materially important to us. It's always been tough for me to really give Him my desires, because for some reason I've always felt that if I tell God what I really want, He'll take that dream and He'll throw it away, and then He'll tell me to be happy with what He's given me, which in my head is always something really terrible, like my life lived single or something. And it's still tough. It's a struggle to tell Him the desires of my heart, because that makes me vulnerable. It's a struggle to give Him something that I really really want because I don't want Him to see what a teenager I am. But the cool thing is that once I gave up one of my biggest desires, He took it, and He blessed it. And He did it in a minute. I am so overjoyed to be able to see results so fast, because I know He usually takes more time than we would like to fully answer a prayer (I think I waited two years on one thing before He blessed it).
All that to say... God rewards the patient, even those who may not have been as willingly patient as maybe they should have been (me, for instance). And He confirms things in the most interesting ways. As I said yesterday, I am so excited for what God has in store for my future.
God bless!
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